What Does It Actually Feel Like to Live From Self Energy

If you’ve spent any time in the IFS world you have heard the term Self energy. Calm, curious, compassionate, clear, connected, courageous, creative, present. Dr. Richard Schwartz describes these as the natural qualities of Self - the part of you that is never damaged, never lost, just sometimes buried under a lot of protective parts doing their best.

But what does it actually feel like to live from Self energy more of the time?

My clients describe it in different ways:

• Being able to pause when that wasn't there before.

• The ability to sit with something uncomfortable without immediately needing to fix it or escape it.

• Speaking the truth and feeling settled rather than immediately guilty.

• Making a decision and actually trusting it.

• Feeling present in a conversation instead of managing it.

Let me just say: it is not a permanent state of calm. Self energy does not mean nothing bothers you. It means you have more capacity and more space between what happens and how you respond.

Your nervous system is not constantly in threat response, so you can think more clearly, feel more fully, and show up more honestly.

I’ve found that the longer you do IFS work, the quieter your inner critic becomes.

Women on a spiritual path often tell me that IFS gives them a structure and a way to access Self energy more consistently, not just in peak moments.

If you are curious about what IFS therapy might open up for you and you are based in California, I offer online sessions throughout the state. You can learn more and get started here.