Therapy · Online in California
Therapy for Midlife Women
Therapy for women in perimenopause & menopause who are ready to set boundaries, speak up, find peace.
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Something in you is waking up.
A client told me she turned down hosting Thanksgiving this year, after a decade of doing it. She braced for the fallout but it never came.
Somewhere in this transition, a lot of us find out exactly how much we've been tolerating. We just run out of room to keep doing it.
The one-sided friendship gets named, and underneath the naming is a need you finally let yourself claim: reciprocity, curiosity, someone actually showing up for you, too. The conversation with your partner that never resolves stops being one you can let go of again, because you've realized you need respect, not just peace at any cost. The job you outgrew starts feeling unbearable instead of just annoying, because somewhere in there you admitted you need deeper fulfillment.
There's real physiology here, too. Perimenopause and menopause don't just change your cycle, they rewire how you experience things. A flatness can settle in. The enthusiasm dims. A sudden "whatever" shows up where you used to care.
And right alongside it, you start caring less about things that used to take up so much energy, like whether someone's a little annoyed with you, or whether you said it the nice way. What's actually happening is energy coming back online, energy that used to go toward managing everyone else's experience of you.
What you do with it next is the exciting part.
And… knowing you're done tolerating something and knowing how to say so are two different skills.
You can be crystal clear inside and still go silent the second it's time to say the sentence. That skill gets built, together, through real practice.
Boundaries aren't walls. They're instructions for how someone gets to stay in your life. Clearer connection, not less of it.
Underneath all of it is the real question: not how do I set better boundaries, but what do I want the next twenty years to look like, now that I'm done spending myself on everyone else's comfort.
The boundaries just clear the room. What's waiting on the other side is you, fully, unapologetically.
If that's where you are, I'd love to talk.
“I came in thinking I just needed help processing my divorce. What I didn’t expect was to actually meet the anxious part of me that had been running the show for thirty years.”
Find Your Voice
You've known what you needed to say for a long time. You just didn't say it. Maybe it felt less risky to stay quiet. Maybe no one ever showed you how.
Speaking up is a skill, not a personality trait. We build it here: what to say, how to say it, and the practice it takes to say it.
The Work We'll Do
Internal Family Systems
Every part of you developed for a reason, often to protect you from something that once felt unsafe to feel or say. Some learned agreement was safer than honesty.
IFS is built on the idea that you have several parts, not just one. We name what each is protecting you from, and build trust with the steadier part underneath.
Somatic Therapy
Long before you have words for what's true, your body already knows it. A tightening in the chest. A held breath. When we pause here, something in you starts to speak.
As a certified somatic therapist, I help you slow down enough to actually feel what's present. A boundary often arrives first as a sensation.
Meet Ali
I'm a licensed therapist with over 20 years of experience, mindfulness teacher, and the author of two books.
I trained in IFS at the IFS Institute and bring 30+ years of yoga and spiritual practice into the room with me. At 50+ and in menopause myself, I'm doing this work in my own life, too.
I work with women in their forties and fifties who are self-aware, motivated, and done tolerating what they've been putting up with for years, in a friendship, a marriage or partnership, a job, or a version of themselves that doesn’t align any longer.
I lead with warmth, and I pair it with honesty and directness. Our sessions are active: we name what's actually going on, not just talk around it, and practice the real tools that move things forward.
Together, we get clear on what you actually want to say, build the boundaries to protect your well-being, and create a life filled with peace.
Get to know me
How We’ll Work Together
A 15-minute call to see if this is the right fit, and to talk about what came up for you.
Ongoing IFS and somatic work, online, so the boundary you're ready to set has somewhere real to practice.
Stay connected to the part of you that holds steady, even when stress hits and old roles are trying to take over.
