Calm Your Nervous System: Polyvagal Tools for Anxiety
Most of us have been taught to push harder when anxiety strikes—to “just calm down,” to fight the thoughts, or to overthink our way out of the spiral. But those strategies rarely work long term.
The truth is: anxiety lives in your nervous system. And unless we meet your system where it is, change stubbornly resists us.
In this post, I want to introduce you to polyvagal theory (especially as translated by Deb Dana) and give you simple, concrete tools for stepping out of anxiety spirals and back into your body and calm.
What Is Polyvagal Theory — in Plain Language
Deb Dana has done the elegant work of translating the scientific into the human — helping us see how our autonomic nervous system (ANS) is not just background machinery but an active partner in how we feel, behave, and connect.
Here’s a simple map of what she teaches:
Ventral Vagal / Safety & Connection — when your system feels safe, you can think, feel, engage, and rest.
Sympathetic Activation / Mobilization — fight, flight, agitation, anxiety.
Dorsal Vagal / Shutdown — collapse, numbing, disconnection.
Your nervous system is always scanning (called neuroception) to detect safety or danger — not consciously, but in the body. When it senses threat, it shifts you into protective states. To heal anxiety, we teach the system new cues of safety.
Why Anxiety Spirals Happen (from a Polyvagal Lens)
When a small trigger emerges (a worry, a memory, a demand), your system may shift toward sympathetic mode to protect you.
In that mode, your rational brain narrows, negative thoughts feel urgent, and the spiral begins: “What if I fail? What if someone rejects me? What if I’m not enough?”
Over time, your system can get stuck in patterns of hyperarousal (constantly “on”) or dorsal shutdown (numb, exhausted).
The key is interruption — not by force, but by regulating the nervous system so you can re-enter ventral vagal (safety) state.
3 Deb Dana–Inspired Tools You Can Use Now
1. Anchor to Breath
Find your body’s natural breathing rhythm.
Slow the exhale just a little (e.g. inhale 3 counts, exhale 4). This helps your ventral vagal system activate more fully. Use this gently, not forced.
2. Map Your States
Start noticing — when you are calm, anxious, or shut down — how your body feels (tightness, heat, heaviness). Label it: “I’m in mobilization” or “I’m shutting down.” Just naming it helps the brain and body separate from the drama.
3. Safe Touch
As Deb teaches, hand on heart, or soft pressure to your own shoulders, or stroking your arms can communicate safety to your nervous system. Gentle contact (you choose how) can cue to your body, “This is okay.”
Over time, these little micro-practices form what she calls a Rhythm of Regulation® — a gentle daily practice to return to safety again and again.
Practice Tips
These tools don’t erase anxiety instantly. The goal is interrupting the spiral—not erasing it.
Start with 1 tool, 1x per day (consistency builds new pathways).
Track your responses: Did anxiety soften? Did clarity return?
Use them in the moment (when the spiral begins) as much as in calm times, so the system learns difference.
How This Connects to Therapy with Wild Path
In therapy, we go deeper: we track your autonomic map, we weave these tools into your habits, and we bring these insights into your relationships, creative work, and inner life.
If you’re tired of anxiety feeling like an ever-present prison, let’s talk.
You don’t have to beat your system. You need to befriend it — gently, wisely, in alignment.